(Chewing) Mmm. Oh yeah, that’s very good. It’s a very good sandwich
SHUT UP
Ian: What are you doing?
Anthony: Eating a taquito. It’s the best food in the world.
Ian: Taquito? More like CRAPitos.
Anthony: What’s your favorite food?
(A tray full of donuts suddenly appears in Ian’s hands)
Ian: Duh idiot, there right here in my hand. Pink frosted sprinkled donut.
Anthony: Yeah, well I bet my taquito can do more everyday tasks in this catalogue than your stupid pink frosted pieces of crap!

You’re on!
Anthony: How about this plunger?
(Anthony plunges the taquitto in the toilet but it falls down and fails)
Anthony: Dang it.
Ian: Don’t let me down, donut.
(Ian does the same thing, but doesn’t work )
Ian: Mine didn’t work either.
But..
..it still tastes pretty good.
Ian: What about, uh, socks?
Anthony: Stupid Ian. Time for a taquito sock.
(Anthony tries to put the taquito in his feet but the taquito doesn’t fit]
lan: Anthony doesn’t know it, but donuts are made to be socks. He is going dowwwn.
(Ian puts his donuts in his toes)
Now it’s time to stroll down the city.
(Ian walks with his donuts, while walking, a donut falls off his toes)
Anthony: Telescope. Let’s do a telescope.
OK!
Alright, time to teach Anthony a lesson.
(the doughnut covers Ian’s eyes)
I don’t see anything.
The hell is going on
Can’t see anything.
All I can see is…
(sees Ian humping a fire hydrant)
Ian.
Ian, what are you doing?
How about an airbag?
(Anthony creepily laughs)
Ok.
Don’t let me down donut, please.
(banged his head to the donut)
It works!
I know you’re so much better than a donut.
You’ll save my life.
(banged his head to the taquito, but got injured)
AGGGGGGH!
Anthony: Cigarette!
I’m gonna smoke you on this compitition.
(they both laugh)
Like a stick, yeah—-It doesn’t make sense.
(they stopped laughing)
I think it’s funny.
It’s not funny.
Alright let’s-let’s smoke this bad boy.
(smokes using a taquito)
I’m totally going to show Anthony up on this food smoking.
He’s goin’ downtown
Oh yeah.
That was a close one.
(drops the donut and fails)
Let’s see your crappy piece of crap be a ballpoint pen.
What do you think ink’s made out of?
BEEF!!!
Alright lets put this beef to use.
(uses the taquitto as a pen)
I wrote the Bill of Rights!
Let’s see Anthony beat this.
(uses his donut as a pen)
Yeah.
Okay,
haha,
yes.
No, no no no.
(stomps on the doughnut to release the fire)
Lipstick.
It worked!
(uses his doughnut as lipstick, but vomits)
Oh my god I look so beautiful!
Prepare to be defeated when my taquito is….a girlfriend or boyfriend!
Because you’ve never had one.
Yes I have.
No!
Yeah!
Anthony and Ian Talking over each other (someone subtitle this for me.)
I just want to tell you donut.
I love you.
My donut had a hole, and…
No.
taquitos, you know, not exactly a hole.
I thought you loved your taquittos.
I love my taquittos it’s just…
Anthony decided to forfeit this round, cause he’s a pansy.
I’m not a pansy, you’re the one! You’re the one who’s a pansy.
How about.
pool floaties?
Pool floaties?!
Yeah, pool floaties.
What’d you think beef’s made of; cows and they float all the time.
I-I’ve never seen a cow float before.
They always go swimming in the lakes.
Maybe in your butt they do.
I’m gonna prove to Ian that beef really does float.
(uses his taquitos as a pool floaty, but fails)
I can’t…
Anthony, eat my shorts.
These things float so good.
Look how good I’m floating.
Ah man. Anthony’s totally gonna lose.
Hear that Anthony?
You’re gonna lose
Ian: Hey Anthony, are you drowning?
Because if you do, you know it’s an automatic forfeit.
Anthony?
(Anthony drowned)
Ian Ian
You’ve just won Food Battle 2006, what are you going to do now?
I’m gonna to Disneyland!
Oh boy Disneyland! Can I come?
Ian: NO!




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